Then go to the next door and tell them what happened. Don’t embroider your account with excuses: the dog shot into the street. You hit him. He was dead. They were gone. Then sincerely apologize for the accident, the fact that you didn’t speak sooner, and the pain you caused them. I have no idea how they will react, but I am sure it is the right and kindest thing to do.
On again, off again
In 1972, a year after graduating from high school, my best friend dumped me. He never said why. At our 10th reunion, he rudely ignored me. Last week, after 49 years of silence, he emailed me asking if I was going to our 50th reunion. He wanted to catch up. I told him I wasn’t going, but I asked about his life, which he described in great detail. He wrote about his sexual excesses as if he were still 17. In return, I sent him a poster of a Jefferson Airplane concert we attended together 50 years ago. Weeks later I still haven’t heard from him. This touches a sensitive nerve. Am I wrong?
PAUL
Of course you are not wrong! I’m sorry your friend hurt you 49 years ago, 39 years ago, and last week. But you see the pattern, right? If you think it might help, call him and tell him (calmly) how his behavior makes you feel.
However, I am afraid this is an unsatisfactory encounter. (A 70-year-old bragging about his sex life doesn’t sound like great friendship material after 50 years of silence.) Can you instead take this opportunity to reflect on and appreciate the people who’ve been there? for you? That might be more convenient.
Coffee?
I recently started a new job at a large company. We are working remotely until Labor Day. Yet I came to the office voluntarily. I love my new standing desk! Occasionally I exchange emails with colleagues who say they are in the office too. I would like to ask if I can come by and meet them in person. I am fully vaccinated and we are required to wear masks when moving around the building. Still, I work in a senior position and some colleagues may be reluctant to turn me down. I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. What do you think?
